....missing you

Hi Dad,

How are you? I'm sure your having fun with all of your friends up there, having drinks and reminicing about the old times.
I'm so sorry we weren't there when you needed us most. I'm sorry I wasn't there to hold your hand when you were still awake. I miss you soooo much! I need you so much... we all do. One of the things you had wanted to see was that everyone would be at one place, at the same time. Well, it happened this past weekend. I'm sure you were able to see how many people came to see you. I don't think everyone in the family realized how many lives you had touched until this past weekend. Its been a difficult time for everyone....
Don't worry though, we'll look after Mom. It has made us realize that we need to be more open with our love for one another. We'll look after one another...don't worry, it has made us even closer to one another.
I'm sorry I caused you so much stress over the years. I know you had only wanted me to be a good man. I only wish I become half the man that you were Dad. I know what I need to work on. I know what I need to do in order to make you proud of me. I make this solemn promise to be the best I can be....to make you and Mom as proud and happy as can be.... For all the sacrifices that you had to make over the years....to leave your beloved Philippines for the sake of us having better opportunities here in the States.
These past 2 weeks have been the most difficult time of my life. I know you wouldn't want me to dwell and be sad. But, I can't help it. Its only now starting to sink in. I won't be able to go to 180 to have lunch with you. I can't just call you to see if you wanted to go watch a movie with me. I can't just go to to Monks with you. I won't get any more phone calls from you asking if I wanted to join you and Mom for dinner at Chinatown. When I finally checked my voicemail at work - the 2nd voicemail was you asking if I had spoken with Warren. It caught me by surprise and I broke down at work. I will never delete that voicemail as long as I'm there.
I miss you sooo much Dad!!!!

You are my mentor, my guardian angel, my blessing..... I wanna make you proud. I wanna be a good man. I wanna be a person people can lean and count on - just like you.

I love you and miss you with all of my heart..... til the next time we meet. By then, I hope you and I will be able to, again, have a drink and reminice....

.....til we meet again Pops.....